CANCER
This is the sign that needs to be cuddled. They may believe that they were born in the wrong period or century. They dwell in the past... Victorian... Roman... Medieval... you name it. They usually will only fuck at night. Come to think of it they fuck better at night anyway. Maybe its because they are ruled by the Moon. This is a sign that is looking for true love...I mean real true deep love. That Romancing The Stone, Wuthering Heights kind of love. They probably cry at the end of any Jane Austen flick. They want to be swept off of their feet. They really do deserve it, too. They are constantly dumped on by previous past fucktard ex lovers that think they own them. Sometimes Cancers pick the wrong guy/girl and get beat up or emotionally hurt. Why? They think its what they deserve. Which is bullshit. They are wonderful people. They love water sports (Jacuzzis, pools, showers, saunas, bathouses...) They want to be comfortable while fucking. Oh sure the foreplay may have had you bent over a barstool, but when you get home they want comfy couches, beds, fluffy pillows, anything soft and fuzzy that is not a pet. Cancerians also have a horrible tendency to misplace their clothing. Highly exhibitionistic. They live for oral as long as it tastes good. Karma Sutra honey dust is a good start. Mints...ice cream…anything with sugar...fruit. Don't rush them they smolder. But when you get started, be ready for a long night. They like to play with ice cubes, too. Also nipples are a big thing for Crabs...they all secretly wish to get their nipples pierced. Can be highly submissive. Masturbation is where they get their bonus points at. Be warned: They like 'em young...so you better be ready to dress up like an animation school boy/girl with a whip to keep 'em.
LEO
If we could put our pussy cat naked and jeweled in rubies on a dais in a museum, this would be their idea of heaven. Everyone admiring them: Hell, yeah! “Worship me” is their motto. If you fuck up just once with a Leo that's IT. Don't be expecting them to take you back. They are not willing victims, after all. They chose you and you screwed up? They can UN-choose you just the same. They live for ménage a trois...or qua….or cinco. Anything in a group is okay as long as they are in the middle. Leos also like bubble baths. Once you start with a Leo do not think you can just turn their emotions on or off like a switch.. They demand satisfaction NOW. All the stress in the world ends up in the Leo neck. They need neckrubs. They feel like they have the entire weight of the world on their head. If its kinky, a Leo has probably done it. You know Madonna's a Leo, right? She masters the Madonna/Whore/Goddess thing pretty well, huh? I wonder why? Could it be cause she’s a Leo? Yep. Valmont was probably a Leo. They probably have the movie at home. Get out your furry gloves and faux mink whips for this kitten,.they love soft floggers and there is a specific spot on their back right above their tailbone that is heaven to them where, if touched right, will actually make them purr. You think I'm bullshitting you? Try it, I dare ya. Leo likes to be on top...that's a given. They need control. Their underwear is always interesting to say the least. They live for boudoir photography. They love to be photographed. If they can afford a nude or semi nude photo of them they do it now. Leos are born and bred to be porn stars...even if they act prude about it they have thought about it. They usually end up in vocations where they can be served like a king or queen (i.e. 24/7 domina, mistresses, gigolos, bar owners, promoters, runway models...). May have a fetish about decorating their genitalia...not piercings, per se, but other jeweled adornments definitely. Rubies usually are their love. I knew one Leo with a solid silver cock ring embedded with rubies. Love to have their hair brushed and played with. You had better be vocal in bed with them...they want to hear how well they are doing. If a Leo has chosen you as a mate just accept it and enjoy the ride. Be prepared for anything. They have no problem tying you down. They are the naughty school teacher, the pirate captain, the gypsy king and Cleopatra all rolled into one.
